Dirty Ass New York.

I really needed New York.

I’ve only been there twice in my life. The first time was around 2012 or 2013. I can’t remember exactly, but it was a terrible experience. I went with someone who was determined to make me their third wheel, and the whole trip ended up feeling awkward and heavy. It wasn’t what I wanted, and the experience just left a bad taste in my mouth. I left New York not liking it at all and didn’t think much about it after that.

When my lattes got into a store in New York, I was really excited. I knew I needed to go for a tasting and that it would be good for me to be there. But I can’t say I was excited about actually going. On the train ride up, I started getting teary-eyed right before we arrived. I was upset that I’m still in a place where I have to do so many things for my company by myself. When we pulled into Penn Station, I remember saying to myself, “Dirty ass New York.”

Then I walked out of the station, and everything changed. The sun was bright and beautiful. There was a huge poster of someone I didn’t even know, but it felt like something shifted. The whole world suddenly felt lighter. It’s a feeling that’s hard to explain. Maybe some people have felt it before, but to me it was almost magical.

It reminded me of how I felt when I first started coming to D.C. That same spark, that same pull of energy that makes you feel like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. This time in New York was fantastic. I don’t think it could have gone any better. Everyone I met was kind and welcoming, and none of them even knew me. It felt like the universe was saying, “She needs this.”

I really did. I can’t say anything else except thank you, New York. I needed that more than I knew.